Penetrating the Circle of Trust
It is inherent to long for love, intimacy, and security. However, permitting someone to emotionally and intimately connect with you can be such a challenge that one could almost fear it. For an individual who fears affection, it is an overwhelming rush of adrenaline that feeds the fight or flight reaction. The senses are bombarded by mixed emotions. Every breath deepens as the heart races within your chest. Unaware of how to let yourself trust a stranger, it is as if you have a child locked inside of you cowering. The fear of rejection and the possibility that a person may hurt you can overwhelm the mind. When the psyche is penetrated by previous traumas the desire to love and to be close to someone is repressed. Alluding to intimacy must be taken in strides. Encountering certain emotions too quickly can be detrimental to overcoming the fear. One must feel safe and in control before granting endearment into their circle of trust.
It is a psychological state of mind that prevents one from truly finding a sense of closeness with another person. Those who have been previously hurt in a relationship or even abused could be susceptible to having this kind of fear. One may be capable of having casual relations if under the pretences that it will not surmount to anything. The fear dissipates due to the agreement of no emotional obligation. Even with a mutual affinity, the vulnerable sense of being causes one to retreat from any advancement towards building an emotional attachment.
Acknowledging that you have this fear is the first step in the right direction. Proceeding with therapy to find the root of the fear will bring enlightenment on how to dissolve the issue itself. When meeting new love interests, be honest and upfront with your issues. If they truly care for you they will be understanding and willing to work with you. Slow but steady measures should be taken in order to acclimate yourself towards a progressive emotional trust. Analyzing and understanding your traumas will help you accept what has happened in the past, allowing yourself to move on with the future.
By: Megan T.