The Confidence of Courtship
Perception of Self - Confidence
In every social scenario it is expected to have some form of judgment that will be based on perception. Arriving equipped with self-assurance will prepare you for the social dynamics that awaits. Self-confidence is a strong belief in oneself and the abilities that you possess. We have a variety of qualities to offer in each new relationship we develop. To be seen in the best of light, use your strengths to your advantage while working on improving your weaknesses. The natural confidence that you feel about yourself will positively convey the image of what you want others to perceive.
Boosting your confidence can be as easy as changing the way you view yourself. Treat your body as a canvas in which you must paint the portrait that you want to see.
Ways to Boost Confidence:
- Fit Bod - Incorporating a healthier lifestyle with a diet and fitness regimen can help you feel sexier in your own body.
- New Dew – A new haircut/ color is always a nice change that should be flattering to your bone structure and skin tone.
- Dress Sharp – Update the wardrobe to a more current fashion trend. Dress fashionably in accordance to your age. Your sense of style should convey a message of who you are as an individual. Hiring a professional stylist can be helpful for a new image consultation. I can personally recommend stylist Tye Coe. http://tyecoe.com
- Good Posture – The way you carry yourself says a lot about a person. Walk with purpose while keeping the shoulders back and head held high. Feel empowered and enthusiastic.
- Pep Talk – Motivate yourself. Know your own worth. Give yourself goals to achieve and see them through. Have daily affirmations and find ways to remind yourself that you have something great to offer.
- Be Grateful – When you focus too much on what you want, the mind tends to create reasons on why you don’t deserve to have it. This leads to dwelling on your own weaknesses. Acknowledge the positive things that you have going on in your life. You would be surprised to find that you are capable of finding success if you continue to persevere.
The Signs of Confident Body Language
Be aware not only of your own body language but also of the person you are talking to. Subconsciously we pick up on subtle hints of attraction. When meeting someone for the first time, it is important to make eye contact while introducing yourself. A firm handshake is always a good sign of power and confidence. However, men should be conscious of women who are more delicate. We don’t want to treat this encounter as a business deal. Articulate and announce your presence in a confident yet non-threatening manner. The encounter should be light-hearted and flirtatious so your romantic intentions are made known. Be cautious of someone’s personal space, not everyone is comfortable being invaded too quickly. Test the comfort zone by insinuating a touch to the arm or holding their hand. If that person doesn’t pull away, it is a good sign, they have accepted you as someone they are willing to be close to.
Confidence of Selection
We all uphold to the fantasy idea of what we want. The quest for the perfect match is commendable. However, we have to be realistic that love isn’t manufactured as a custom-order. Sometimes what we want just isn’t what we need. Understanding the true nature of a person by evaluating the pros and cons that they offer will help to decide whether they are right for you or not. No one can decide that for you. Don’t compromise to be with someone just for the sake of it. Be satisfied and confident that your choice is of a natural chemistry in which you feel this person could enrich your life. If ever in doubt just follow your gut instincts.
By: Megan T.
Dating takes Effort
“First understand and accept one self; then you will be open to accepting and understanding others.”
Some live by the “Rules of dating” that are implemented as basic guidelines to ease the process. Granted, there are some “rules” that should be remembered, but I believe, when it comes to dating there is no definitive formula that will be a success each time. When it all boils down, it is our own intuition and a natural chemistry between each other that will determine the next step. Each date should be treated in a unique way, sans a cheesy line that every other guy has learned via the culture of a Pick Up Artist. Developing loving relationships between a man and a woman takes effort not a scripted pick up technique. It involves genuine communication, mutual understanding and an open mind. It is human nature to want to be loved and accepted. Of course, each opportunity to meet a complete stranger and attempt to ask them out can be intimidating.
The Approach:
It is customary that a man should make the first move to ask a girl out. Well, in this day and age, it is open game to either sex to make the first move. If the opportunity presents itself and you feel a connection; I say take a chance and go for it.
There is nothing sexier than a man who is confident in him self and has the courage to risk, as individuals see as, rejection. Women want a man who will genuinely approach her and initiate a conversation that she can relate to. To find the “icebreaker”, use your atmosphere to your advantage. You are both in the same place because you have a mutual interest in something. Women don’t want to be “cat-called” or told how beautiful she is for the 10th time today. Be innovative and come up with something that is not a pick up technique. Women see right through men and the bullshit they bring to the table. Be aware that women will be sizing you up and decide within about a minute if she is attracted to you. Like blood in the water; women can sense fear. Just be yourself and go with the best intentions. Have in mind what is the worst that can happen? She may say “no” but there is a chance she may say “yes”. If you have her attention past five minutes or longer, that is a good sign to get her phone number and keep moving. Lifestyle of the City is fast-paced. It is better to leave her in mystery and wanting more than to over stay your welcome.
Just remember, if it doesn’t go well and there isn’t a mutual interest, stay positive! You do not know one another to become overly emotional or to take offense. Respect her decision and keep your head held high. You can re-play and analyze all you want how it went down. Remember the things that had a positive effect and forget the negative. Learn and grow from each encounter. The more you put yourself out there and experience dating; the easier it will be to understand what works and what will not.
